Thursday, July 19, 2012

I used to be more creative..

  For some reason I stumbled across the blog that Jose and I used to have back in the day.. Kinda when Blogging started to blow up.. I was doing it all. I had just hit 4k subscribers in the matter of a couple months.. I was so stoked and became more and more into the Youtube game.. I had no direction in my life. I didn't know where my next meal was coming from. I was lost. Completely lost. All I knew is that I was Going to make it. 
            "I aint Jack without my Jills"          
I wrote a blog entitled that.. I barely remember that until I re read what I wrote. I was pulling inspiration from the littlest things to get me thru some rough times. I used to just do what I wanted when I wanted and never cared what people thought. I knew I was going off the fact that I was lost and whatever made me happy at that moment, I did it and that was that. So for those that ask how I did it, one goal. BE HAPPY. I totally relived those moments when I thought I had pushed them so far back in my memory that I thought I had forgotten them. I have no idea where I am going with the post, but I know that I had to blog.
Its even more crazy to see the places Ive gone and the things Ive seen since those blog posts.. Many of you will not know about me in my "early days" but I can assure you I was the same, just made some dumb choices which of course led me to the person I am today. Independent and stronger than ever. I truly believe that making mistakes and taking that road less traveled is the way to go. You will never learn by following in others footsteps. Of course this is all my own opinion. My mother always told me not to get pregnant at an early age.. More so when I started to date the girls father. But what did I do? I got pregnant. Im glad I did. The careless and free spirit that I hold woulda had me dead. I was forced to get my head on straight when i wasn't ready to. Kick it into first gear and become a mother. Best thing that ever happened to me. It saved me.

This whole internet thing was fun.. Now it has taken a complete turn.. Reflecting back on the blog that Jose and I had, it was fun. shit talking. (which I need to get back to that type of blogging)  Now its all about swatches and hardcore beauty products, shoes and clothes. To be honest, i love doing those posts, but It takes so much freaking work and effort. It also has become a job for most of those doing youtube. Its a great job. Doing what you love and getting  paid some major paper. Never in a million years did I think I was going to be making some decent cheese from being a partner with youtube. Especially when I took that hiatus for 2 years... 

I even dyed my hair this blonde. What was I thinking? LOL I suppose I always wanted to do it, so I did it. It didn't last very long. My roots grew out and I am not the type to get my hair done every month! If I knew then what I know now, i woulda let that grow out and I woulda had some ombre going on.. LOL touch ups of course to have the fade...

I look back at the past and see how its all panned out. I wouldn't do anything different. Well maybe somethings.. Like my choices on who I dated. But whatever. We all run into that, right? Now I am happier than ever. I have Jose living under the same roof and the kids are now 8. They start 3rd grade for crying out loud!

I don't know what tomorrow brings, or know if I will even wake up in the morning. I have touched hearts to people Ive never met and have made complete strangers smile. I will continue my life with no regrets and take responsibility for my actions, because what I do at that very moment is what is making me happy at that very second.



  1. I dont even know what to say, all i can think of is how much i admire you as a person and how much i wish for you a long happy life, full of love and acomplishments. You trully deserve it, and you have worked hard for it. I will be a Mariposa fan forever!! Pinky promise :)

  2. You inspire me so much to reach for my dreams and goals and not let anyone hold me back! I love your videos and your words of wisdom are so ore inspiring! Keep doing what your doing your amazing!

    Love from the UK Laura xx

  3. Your such lovely lady. I get you and I feel your sincerity. I'm a mum and had my daughter young too. But it only made go harder in order to provide. I manage to achieve a degree in midwifery. Now I'm heading for the big 4 0 and my daughter is 18. I'm so proud for her. She has so much respect for herself and doesn't feel the necessity conform (I was a sheep for a while until I checked myself). Even though ill-health has now slowed me in my tracks, I now have time to watch and learn from your art. I know your little girls will grow up to be upstanding young ladies to your credit.

    Thank you for being so accessible

    Love Michelle from the UK

  4. I absolutely admire every single thing you do and your opinion on life.
    True inspiration girl.

  5. You are perfect (to me) in every way and I adore you. Just remember that if you need to think of one person who you've inspired/saved.... it's LISA TRAN (me). I love you. Thank you for simply being you.

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  7. thank you so much for posting this i swear it made my night as i sit here bored.. i read this and takes me back to reminisce all the things i was going through when i began to watch your videos on you tube and loving every single one :) it like that feeling you get you know when you smell something and it takes you back? that's how you made me feel i truly appreciate you and never take you for granted your a awesome person thank you for sharing your life xox

  8. Catching up on your blog and WOW!!! what a beautiful post. You have grown so much. Thank you for being an inspiration. Luv ya lots

  9. I'm a new follower and this post just made me cry! There's definitely some things in everyones lives that they wish they hadn't done but without them we would never be who we are. I saw your latest BMC. Your girls are truly adorable and you are an amazing mother!!! Love you! <3

  10. aw, well for what it is worth you are still an amazing person and even better mommy! i don't know too many mothers who have such a rockin bod, and are able to maintain a household & still look beautiful doing so. in fact i don't know any! haha keep up the great work, you're doing an amazing job at being you!!

    xoxo rica

  11. i love your blog, sometimes i love it more than your youtube just because you can get really personal in some blogs, it makes your readers really get to know you.

    you are one lady that's been real from the start & i'm so glad i kept following you since the first video i seen of you on youtube.