For some reason I stumbled across the blog that Jose and I used to have back in the day.. Kinda when Blogging started to blow up.. I was doing it all. I had just hit 4k subscribers in the matter of a couple months.. I was so stoked and became more and more into the Youtube game.. I had no direction in my life. I didn't know where my next meal was coming from. I was lost. Completely lost. All I knew is that I was Going to make it.
I wrote a blog entitled that.. I barely remember that until I re read what I wrote. I was pulling inspiration from the littlest things to get me thru some rough times. I used to just do what I wanted when I wanted and never cared what people thought. I knew I was going off the fact that I was lost and whatever made me happy at that moment, I did it and that was that. So for those that ask how I did it, one goal. BE HAPPY. I totally relived those moments when I thought I had pushed them so far back in my memory that I thought I had forgotten them. I have no idea where I am going with the post, but I know that I had to blog.
Its even more crazy to see the places Ive gone and the things Ive seen since those blog posts.. Many of you will not know about me in my "early days" but I can assure you I was the same, just made some dumb choices which of course led me to the person I am today. Independent and stronger than ever. I truly believe that making mistakes and taking that road less traveled is the way to go. You will never learn by following in others footsteps. Of course this is all my own opinion. My mother always told me not to get pregnant at an early age.. More so when I started to date the girls father. But what did I do? I got pregnant. Im glad I did. The careless and free spirit that I hold woulda had me dead. I was forced to get my head on straight when i wasn't ready to. Kick it into first gear and become a mother. Best thing that ever happened to me. It saved me.
This whole internet thing was fun.. Now it has taken a complete turn.. Reflecting back on the blog that Jose and I had, it was fun. shit talking. (which I need to get back to that type of blogging) Now its all about swatches and hardcore beauty products, shoes and clothes. To be honest, i love doing those posts, but It takes so much freaking work and effort. It also has become a job for most of those doing youtube. Its a great job. Doing what you love and getting paid some major paper. Never in a million years did I think I was going to be making some decent cheese from being a partner with youtube. Especially when I took that hiatus for 2 years...
I even dyed my hair this blonde. What was I thinking? LOL I suppose I always wanted to do it, so I did it. It didn't last very long. My roots grew out and I am not the type to get my hair done every month! If I knew then what I know now, i woulda let that grow out and I woulda had some ombre going on.. LOL touch ups of course to have the fade...
I look back at the past and see how its all panned out. I wouldn't do anything different. Well maybe somethings.. Like my choices on who I dated. But whatever. We all run into that, right? Now I am happier than ever. I have Jose living under the same roof and the kids are now 8. They start 3rd grade for crying out loud!
I don't know what tomorrow brings, or know if I will even wake up in the morning. I have touched hearts to people Ive never met and have made complete strangers smile. I will continue my life with no regrets and take responsibility for my actions, because what I do at that very moment is what is making me happy at that very second.
PEACE LOVE AND LIPGLOSS